Goodbye

Describe the last difficult "goodbye" you said. You can't really describe the last goodbye when it feels like an on going sentence. The days that never end. There have been so many unplanned goodbyes lately. I know there are more coming. I don't do well with the no closure thing and I don't do well …

Part one.

I'm not really good with things ending. Relationships, movies, books, death, songs, you name it. I always have questions. They could just be something simple like "who was that actress again?" to "ok but why did this happen, why is Batman in the movie if he isn't like in the movie." From Joker - don't …

The Silence

What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain. "Hows it going?" The most general question ever. You don't really care the answer it's just a silence filler. Why do words have to be exchanged? Why can't we just be in the silence? For the longest time it seemed to be weather was the …

Hiding places and back roads.

Here we are, sitting on the bathroom floor at 4am again. It's not comfortable but I like hiding sometimes. I hide from the dogs in the morning. From myself. From life. I don't like getting out of bed but I have to. The heat just kicked off. Now it is to quiet in here. I …

A tornado

I feel very conflicted today. To many thoughts. To much down time. Will it be the last time? Home 🌪

Being.

You never see her, really see her Maybe a glimpse and you thought you knew everything.  Maybe you read a book and said ah yes it's her But you never really saw her Under the sleeves  Hidden behind bathrooms doors Under beds Escape The car, you travel to places unknown They follow for the adventure …

Sunsets

Chasing the sunsets,  red sky at night sailor's delight.  Sweet talking the stars into taking me back Baraging with the devil again Clear skies, not so clear minded Clouded, yet again, chasing the high.  Chasing the high that will set me right I am tired and not sure I will win this fight.  Chasing the …

Poetry Dump

I am not ok because I have been fighting not dying while everyday I am constantly dying while fightingI forget that I am living because really I am just surviving. Slowly forgetting all my survival tools which in turn is bringing me closer to irrational thinking and thoughts that aren't my own. They say you have a mental health diagnosis and by …

Death is just…

Burnt at both ends Death the beautiful and terrible fact of life. To dream and live one's death is but a thought we cannot think. To live one's dream of death is unspeakable. Sinful, shameful, selfish. We shall not. Because to die is the greatest finale of them of them all To die is an ending we wish never happened. To die …

Back once more

They sit alone Twisting of the owls neck knowing my heart was trying to tell me something. A mangled mess you left me inSo long ago Left lying awake a night My eyes feel everythingMy eyes take everything in Eight arms bring me back down But these can't be my ownI can't break loose Tangled mess What a tangled web we weaveKnees dig …